I am learning that "life" doesn't always look like what we have visioned in our hearts and minds. Failures, mistakes, and disappointments often leave us searching, wondering where we went wrong. In every decision, every day I do my best to filter through my own desires and hear the voice of Christ and then be obedient to his leading. I know that I have missed the mark many times, but I am growing and willing to accept a life that will bring glory and honor to The One who gave me life, rather than pursuing my own ambition.
This video is purpose breathing. Take a moment to soak it in.
I love you today!
Blessings~
Monday, November 1, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Joy Comes
Psalm 30:5 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
For His anger lasts only a moment,
but His favor, a lifetime.
Weeping may spend the night,
but there is joy in the morning. (A)
I am so thankful that my JOY has come once again. The grief of missing my love has weighed heavy on my heart, and in that mix of anxiety and sadness I felt joy slipping away from me. I couldn't remember the last time I actually laughed out loud or looked forward to the day with fresh eyes. I recognized the potential of this state of mind and made a choice to defy this circumstance and not be defined by it. I have been in a constant attitude of prayer and praise and decided to go back to the place of my salvation. It has been like new wine to my soul. I am so full of joy once again. My strength is renewed. I can credit it to nothing more than the pure love of Christ. He has come.. Amen!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Invisible
Have you ever felt purely invisible? It is not an easy feeling. While I often pride myself on being strong and getting things done, sometimes I just need to break and fall apart a little. That is where I am. Almost 60 days into this deployment I am reaching my breaking point. I have tried desperately to find joy in this journey, but the truth is I am struggling. I feel like my heart is hardening and becoming cold and bitter. There are many situations and circumstances that I can blame/justify the emotions that are plaguing my heart, but those things are not the root of this. I am doing my best to surrender to the process, be honest with myself, and allow God to mold my heart into something beautiful. This is not easy; it is not fun.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Twice Learned
To teach is to learn twice. ~Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842
It has been a solid 17 days since my last post. Did someone hit the fast-forward button while I was sleeping? No, that can't be right... I don't think I have slept much in the last 17 days. None-the-less, there has been surmountable joy in my fast-forward life.
I am teaching full-time at HFUMC Pre-K. I have 10 little blessings in my class and I was told today that 3 more will be starting next week (see I only thought I was catching myself). I have to say that Mr. Joseph knew something about teaching. Over the last 3 weeks I have gotten to relearn how to shake my wiggles out, how to paint with bubbles, and how to make ice cream in a zip-lock bag. I smell like a mix of peanut butter and melting crayola crayons, but I am having a blast.
You all know how I love our military. Well God has blessed me with a little boy in my class who's daddy is a CPT in the ANG whom just deployed to Iraq. I believe that he is in my class for such a time as this. I pray that I can be a daily encouragement to his mother and a joy to him while he waits for daddy to come home.
I am starting college soon to finish my degree in early childhood education by way of an extraordinary blessing. My classes start later this fall and I know that things will become even busier. I am trying to not get overloaded and miss the stillness and quiet that my soul needs.
My own babies and I are rocking right along with this deployment of sorts. I miss my love so much that it literally hurts. I imagine his kisses and his hand holding mine as I pray earnestly for his protection. My son is missing his daddy a lot. I can see it in his eyes when I catch him lost in thought over his father. Everyday, I fight back the words.. JUST COME HOME, MY LOVE.
On the upside, Skype has been life saving. I can't imagine what our life would be like without it. I get to see my love's face and embrace him through my eyes everyday. He gets to kiss our children goodnight and even play games with our son.
I am just walking, well running mostly, the days out until this chapter is over and we can harvest the seeds that are being planted this year. God is good and He is faithful; May I forever be patient and obedient to his clear voice.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Footloose
I am a few hours late for yesterday's post. Since committing to teach pre-k this school year, things have been non-stop. I took a break yesterday from preparing my own classroom to take my babies 'Back to School' shopping. I love our little town, but for great shopping you must drive at least an hour in one direction or the other. We choose to go north and shop in Huntsville.
My new favorite store Crossroads was having a huge shoe sale, so we HAD to go. Crossroads carries a lot of exclusive brands like sanku, TOMS (big smile), and five fingers. My daughter decided she wanted some new TOMS wedges and my little guy wanted a pair of TOMS too. Considering that every time you buy a pair of TOMS a pair is given to a child in need, I do not mind driving an hour or paying the price for them. However when we arrived at Crossroads they did not have the sizes we needed for either child.
Ashlynn quickly found something else (so did mom; that is another story) but Caleb is my picky child. Oh the misery.... I am sure this adds to my gray. Any-who, after an hour of rejecting shoe after shoe, my little guy spotted the five fingers. Now let me just tell you these shoes are UGLY and they start at $80 (no giving to a child in need either). Conversely to that we still had a lot of shopping to do and the little guy had already worn me down. So left Crossroads with 2 pair of TOMS and Five Fingers covering the red head's feet.
As the day progressed and Daddy's bank account go smaller, my little guy seemed jovial. In one random moment the little man shouted from the back seat, "Mom, these shoes just make me want to DANCE." You just had to be there. I laughed till I cried. I am still laughing about it.
Now I told you that story to say this:
Yesterday was one week exactly that my heartbeat and breath boarded a plane and this deployment journey began. Had you told me last Friday that in one week I would be able to carry on and laugh without fear and sadness covering me, I would have thought that you were clueless.
Conversely here we are. I am walking daily in peace because I know Peace by Name. The Word tells us that there is a time and season for everything and in everything we should praise Him.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (New Living Translation)
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
Every time I read this or hear it spoken, my mind immediately goes back to 1980 something and the movie FOOTLOOSE. I loved that movie. I know I watched it a million times. Thinking about it brings a smile to my face. I am sure I can still sing the songs word for word... footloose kick off your Sunday shoes..
Thank you Father for this time to laugh and this time to dance right in the middle of the hardest time for our family. You are indeed GOOD.
Now if you want to covers your little piggies with Five Fingers feel footloose, here they are:
http://www.vibram-fivefinger.com/search/sprint+yellow
My new favorite store Crossroads was having a huge shoe sale, so we HAD to go. Crossroads carries a lot of exclusive brands like sanku, TOMS (big smile), and five fingers. My daughter decided she wanted some new TOMS wedges and my little guy wanted a pair of TOMS too. Considering that every time you buy a pair of TOMS a pair is given to a child in need, I do not mind driving an hour or paying the price for them. However when we arrived at Crossroads they did not have the sizes we needed for either child.
Ashlynn quickly found something else (so did mom; that is another story) but Caleb is my picky child. Oh the misery.... I am sure this adds to my gray. Any-who, after an hour of rejecting shoe after shoe, my little guy spotted the five fingers. Now let me just tell you these shoes are UGLY and they start at $80 (no giving to a child in need either). Conversely to that we still had a lot of shopping to do and the little guy had already worn me down. So left Crossroads with 2 pair of TOMS and Five Fingers covering the red head's feet.
As the day progressed and Daddy's bank account go smaller, my little guy seemed jovial. In one random moment the little man shouted from the back seat, "Mom, these shoes just make me want to DANCE." You just had to be there. I laughed till I cried. I am still laughing about it.
Now I told you that story to say this:
Yesterday was one week exactly that my heartbeat and breath boarded a plane and this deployment journey began. Had you told me last Friday that in one week I would be able to carry on and laugh without fear and sadness covering me, I would have thought that you were clueless.
Conversely here we are. I am walking daily in peace because I know Peace by Name. The Word tells us that there is a time and season for everything and in everything we should praise Him.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (New Living Translation)
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
Every time I read this or hear it spoken, my mind immediately goes back to 1980 something and the movie FOOTLOOSE. I loved that movie. I know I watched it a million times. Thinking about it brings a smile to my face. I am sure I can still sing the songs word for word... footloose kick off your Sunday shoes..
Thank you Father for this time to laugh and this time to dance right in the middle of the hardest time for our family. You are indeed GOOD.
Now if you want to covers your little piggies with Five Fingers feel footloose, here they are:
http://www.vibram-fivefinger.com/search/sprint+yellow
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Losing Battle
I once read in a myriad of quotes that southerners just can not resist a losing battle. Maybe there is a little truth to that. I always seem drawn to tackle the impossible. Be-it an overly busy schedule, a mission cause, or gray hair. Yes, gray hair.
Believe it or not, I was a true blonde until I was in about 4th grade. Then my hair started to get quite darker, and bottle after bottle, I have kept it that way. After weeks of being without my beloved Tobis (hair-genius in Germany) I am noticing more and more of those gray little devils (I'm sure it has nothing to do with this deployment; cough, cough). Being back in my sunshine state has kissed my skin and my hair is once again getting lighter, but that darn gray is taking over. So I decided to tackle the lost cause and just go blonde. The rumor on the street is that blondes have more fun. I suppose we will just see about that.
A seasoned army wife once told me that you should never make a radical decision or change in the first 30 days of a deployment. Many women will get tattoos, body piercing, color their hair, etc.. imagine the horror.
Well, it seems that I have broken all the rules.
Here are some photos.. tell me what you think. If I am losing the battle am I at least winning the war?
Believe it or not, I was a true blonde until I was in about 4th grade. Then my hair started to get quite darker, and bottle after bottle, I have kept it that way. After weeks of being without my beloved Tobis (hair-genius in Germany) I am noticing more and more of those gray little devils (I'm sure it has nothing to do with this deployment; cough, cough). Being back in my sunshine state has kissed my skin and my hair is once again getting lighter, but that darn gray is taking over. So I decided to tackle the lost cause and just go blonde. The rumor on the street is that blondes have more fun. I suppose we will just see about that.
A seasoned army wife once told me that you should never make a radical decision or change in the first 30 days of a deployment. Many women will get tattoos, body piercing, color their hair, etc.. imagine the horror.
Well, it seems that I have broken all the rules.
Here are some photos.. tell me what you think. If I am losing the battle am I at least winning the war?
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
August Baking
One could quite literally bake in this August Alabama heat. It is scorching. I am not sure when the last time was that we got a soaking rain, but it is DRY! In the words of the hilarious Arron Wilburn, "It is so dry that the Baptist are sprinkling, the Methodist have restored to moist towelettes, and the Catholics are praying that the wine be turned back into water!"
Yesterday temperatures reached the triple digits. So my little man and I decided to do an experiment. We attempted to bake cookies in our truck. That's right, IN OUR TRUCK.
We bought some frozen white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough. We arranged the cookies on a metal cookie sheet; then placed the cookies on the dashboard of the truck. We positioned the truck facing the sun, and then with the windows up we let them bake for 5 hours.
They were crispy and yummy!
Here are the photos.
Now I wonder what else we could cook inside our truck?? Humm. Oh, the possibilities!
Yesterday temperatures reached the triple digits. So my little man and I decided to do an experiment. We attempted to bake cookies in our truck. That's right, IN OUR TRUCK.
We bought some frozen white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough. We arranged the cookies on a metal cookie sheet; then placed the cookies on the dashboard of the truck. We positioned the truck facing the sun, and then with the windows up we let them bake for 5 hours.
They were crispy and yummy!
Here are the photos.
Now I wonder what else we could cook inside our truck?? Humm. Oh, the possibilities!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
No Words
I woke up this morning at 0333. I knew that I needed to be praying. So I did. Three hours later I got a phone call from my love telling me he was okay. Evidently there was a tragic act of hatred that occurred too close for comfort. (hmm, too close for comfort... there is more to that... that will be another message for another post) Back to my story.. That incident has left me speechless this morning. All I can do it pray. I am thankful to our Father for His mighty hand of protection and I am reminded just how important our words to one another are. We must take every opportunity to lift up and encourage one another, even when we have no words.
I love this song. I hope that you do too. Be encouraged, my fellow travelers.
I love this song. I hope that you do too. Be encouraged, my fellow travelers.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Save The Soap
It is HOT in Alabama today. So much so that I took three showers. That's right one, two, THREE! One this morning to get ready to drive my brother-in-law to the airport. Once home from the airport I started working in the yard and right in the middle of a good sweat, my lawn equipment broke. After a few nice words and a swift kick to the broken equipment, I needed to go to town thus creating the need for shower number two. When I got back home I proceeded to complete my yard, and being covered in a mix of dry grass, rotten apples, and dead bugs I desperately needed shower number three. Why am I telling you this? Because there is a message; hang with me.
As you know this week has been emotional for me. While in the mist of shower number three, I began to ponder my emotions and the actions of today. As clear as the sound of water on my skin my mind echoed the words, "so that times of refreshing may come". I knew in my heart that is a bible verse. I have heard it before... somewhere. I just did not know the chapter or verse or the context of it.
After my shower I googled those words. This is the verse:
Acts 3:19-20 (New Living Translation)
19 Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. 20 Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.
I encourage you to read for yourself the entire chapter so that you will see those words in context.
What it spoke to me is this:
There are many things that I have prayed for. One is this job that has taken my love to a far away land. He was not forced to take this job. It was a decision that we as a family agreed on. We knew the danger, considered the risk, counted the cost and got EXACTLY what we asked for. But as soon as it began to get painful, I started crying and complaining. The point is, I did not recognize the answer to my own prayer. That is exactly what happened in this chapter 3. A miraculous healing has taken place and yet people are looking the wrong way to the wrong person. They did not recognize that this healing has come from Jesus. Peter warns the people that they missed Jesus the first time and he is coming again. How many times do we get exactly what we pray for and then begrudge it when it comes? I dare say that when we do this we miss an opportunity to see Jesus.
Today I needed some serious refreshing; working in this Alabama heat does not create a sweet aroma. Know what I mean? But for the last several days I have been covered in things much worse than dry grass, dead bugs, and rotten apples. I could take a million showers and those things would remain. The only thing that can wash me clean from wrong attitudes, self pity, and greed is some old fashion prayer and repentance. Then you can save your soap because true cleansing and refreshing will come and the presence of Jesus will be with you.
As you know this week has been emotional for me. While in the mist of shower number three, I began to ponder my emotions and the actions of today. As clear as the sound of water on my skin my mind echoed the words, "so that times of refreshing may come". I knew in my heart that is a bible verse. I have heard it before... somewhere. I just did not know the chapter or verse or the context of it.
After my shower I googled those words. This is the verse:
Acts 3:19-20 (New Living Translation)
19 Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. 20 Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah.
I encourage you to read for yourself the entire chapter so that you will see those words in context.
What it spoke to me is this:
There are many things that I have prayed for. One is this job that has taken my love to a far away land. He was not forced to take this job. It was a decision that we as a family agreed on. We knew the danger, considered the risk, counted the cost and got EXACTLY what we asked for. But as soon as it began to get painful, I started crying and complaining. The point is, I did not recognize the answer to my own prayer. That is exactly what happened in this chapter 3. A miraculous healing has taken place and yet people are looking the wrong way to the wrong person. They did not recognize that this healing has come from Jesus. Peter warns the people that they missed Jesus the first time and he is coming again. How many times do we get exactly what we pray for and then begrudge it when it comes? I dare say that when we do this we miss an opportunity to see Jesus.
Today I needed some serious refreshing; working in this Alabama heat does not create a sweet aroma. Know what I mean? But for the last several days I have been covered in things much worse than dry grass, dead bugs, and rotten apples. I could take a million showers and those things would remain. The only thing that can wash me clean from wrong attitudes, self pity, and greed is some old fashion prayer and repentance. Then you can save your soap because true cleansing and refreshing will come and the presence of Jesus will be with you.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Inside-out
It is amazing what a reassuring message from a friend and a little fresh air will do. After my two day stay indoors with both phones glued to my hands, I mustered the gumption to get out of the house. My mind has been in a fog and I have felt rather frazzled. These initial emotions have hit me like a train. I thought that I was mentally prepared for these days, but I was not.
Since we were "all dressed up" I decided that I would go to church for a bit. I told the children to head for the truck and that I would meet them there. When I got to the truck my lovely daughter gave me that "mom, I can't believe you are wearing that!" look. It is normal. I ignored her. Until she persisted to tell me I had put my clothes on inside out.
I suppose that if you don't have anything to laugh about.. you can always laugh at yourself. If not, your kids certainly will!
Since we were "all dressed up" I decided that I would go to church for a bit. I told the children to head for the truck and that I would meet them there. When I got to the truck my lovely daughter gave me that "mom, I can't believe you are wearing that!" look. It is normal. I ignored her. Until she persisted to tell me I had put my clothes on inside out.
I suppose that if you don't have anything to laugh about.. you can always laugh at yourself. If not, your kids certainly will!
All Dressed Up
I felt so rejuvenated this morning after speaking with my love. I slept deep for about 3 hours then I got up and began to prepare a sunday pot-roast to slow cook while my babies and I enjoyed Sunday service in our home church. We got all dressed up and ready to go give thanks for safety and provision. The children are even sporting some of their new 'school-clothes'. But as the hour to leave the house drew closer, I could not leave. What if he called while we were away? What if, What if, What if? I'm am not sure when this emotion will pass. I am doing my best. I will force myself to leave the house at some point today. Maybe... after all we are all dressed up.
Exhale
Yesterday was seriously harder than d1. My love was traveling and anyone on the military side knows how volatile travel days are. I felt as though I was holding my breath all day with only occasional moments of of oxygen inhaled through the flood of tears.
With one beautiful phone call this morning at 0300, a newness has come. I can exhale. My love has landed safely at his pinpoint location. I feel refreshed just knowing that. There is a smile on my face this morning and these tears of joy taste a little sweeter than those of yesterday.
With one beautiful phone call this morning at 0300, a newness has come. I can exhale. My love has landed safely at his pinpoint location. I feel refreshed just knowing that. There is a smile on my face this morning and these tears of joy taste a little sweeter than those of yesterday.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Not the Dopplebocks!
Be of sober mind. Those are the words that keep running through my head.
Now I love a good glass of sweet wine or a cold German beer and I don't believe that there is anything morally wrong with that. I enjoy my treat responsibly and never in excess. So I was a little taken by those repeating words. I mulled them over in my mind a few times, then decided that they could not mean, Don't drink during this deployment. After-all my love just splurged on four german dopplebocks for me. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, right!?
So after a long emotional day yesterday, I showered, put on some comfort clothes, and then went to the kitchen to slowly pour my dopplebock into a perfectly shaped stein. Mmm it was good, for a moment. Then my emotions intensified and I felt guilt in my heart.
After a long cry and and a few minutes in the Word of God, I decided to lay down my liquid treats for the remainder of this deployment. Since my surgery in 2007 even a sip of wine or beer can make my emotions race, and now more than ever I must be of sober mind. My love and my Jesus have my heart; it is my mind that must be guarded with hawk eyes for the next 365+ days.
Oh.. so what to do with my dopplebocks? I suppose that I will pass them along. Any takers?
Now I love a good glass of sweet wine or a cold German beer and I don't believe that there is anything morally wrong with that. I enjoy my treat responsibly and never in excess. So I was a little taken by those repeating words. I mulled them over in my mind a few times, then decided that they could not mean, Don't drink during this deployment. After-all my love just splurged on four german dopplebocks for me. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, right!?
So after a long emotional day yesterday, I showered, put on some comfort clothes, and then went to the kitchen to slowly pour my dopplebock into a perfectly shaped stein. Mmm it was good, for a moment. Then my emotions intensified and I felt guilt in my heart.
After a long cry and and a few minutes in the Word of God, I decided to lay down my liquid treats for the remainder of this deployment. Since my surgery in 2007 even a sip of wine or beer can make my emotions race, and now more than ever I must be of sober mind. My love and my Jesus have my heart; it is my mind that must be guarded with hawk eyes for the next 365+ days.
Oh.. so what to do with my dopplebocks? I suppose that I will pass them along. Any takers?
Friday, July 30, 2010
GAP
In looking at my blog, I realized how big of a gap I have left between Germany, Colorado, and D1. I have not been very good at blogging. I'll try to do better. So if you are wondering where this deployment has come from, this should bring you up to speed. Thanks for walking with me.
Here is the update:
Wes got a great job offer as a military contractor doing what he did in the army. He will have to deploy, but he will be around soldiers and that is where his heart for ministry is. His home office is in the south. With that detail in addition to the health of several family members, we decided to move to Alabama. Everything fell into place at light speed and 10 days after our decision, we began to settle into our new little country home.
Hope that helps fill in the gap.
Here is the update:
Wes got a great job offer as a military contractor doing what he did in the army. He will have to deploy, but he will be around soldiers and that is where his heart for ministry is. His home office is in the south. With that detail in addition to the health of several family members, we decided to move to Alabama. Everything fell into place at light speed and 10 days after our decision, we began to settle into our new little country home.
Hope that helps fill in the gap.
D1
Today is D day. That's right... deployment day; day one. In the two minutes before leaving my love to board a plane that will carry him more miles and for more days than I can fathom at this point, I embraced him with every fiber of my being. I tried to bank his every scent, texture, and detail that makes him uniquely him.
Driving away with his face in the rear-view was the hardest thing to date that I have ever done.
My heart is heavy today, and the tears mixed with peace are coming out in waves.
I have nothing profound or witty to say. I just wanted to begin this daily chronicle of the year that will radically change our lives.
That's it.
Driving away with his face in the rear-view was the hardest thing to date that I have ever done.
My heart is heavy today, and the tears mixed with peace are coming out in waves.
I have nothing profound or witty to say. I just wanted to begin this daily chronicle of the year that will radically change our lives.
That's it.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
It's Been A Minute
I can't believe that I have not posted since March. Too much has changed to even try to catch-up. Since our arrival back to The States we have been in an ever-changing adventure. We have witnessed the majesty of Colorado, saddled our horses in Texas, and felt the sand between our toes in The Sunshine state of Florida. The children successfully completed another year of school and summer is now in full force.
Though our time in the military was brief, returning to civilian life has been very emotional. We sincerely love the military and wanted desperately to remain apart of it... so much so that I myself have been working on the steps to enlist. However at this point previous surgeries are prohibiting me from continuing in the process.
Wes is in the final step of securing a great job. If he is successful then we will be leaving our beautiful mountains in Colorado Springs and returning to Sweet Home Alabama.
We have no idea what our future holds, but we are eagerly holding onto our faith that we serve the God who does.
Though our time in the military was brief, returning to civilian life has been very emotional. We sincerely love the military and wanted desperately to remain apart of it... so much so that I myself have been working on the steps to enlist. However at this point previous surgeries are prohibiting me from continuing in the process.
Wes is in the final step of securing a great job. If he is successful then we will be leaving our beautiful mountains in Colorado Springs and returning to Sweet Home Alabama.
We have no idea what our future holds, but we are eagerly holding onto our faith that we serve the God who does.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Great Debate
You can not turn on the news, radio, or log onto Facebook without seeing a mass of opinions over the Health Care Reform Bill. I think that most people feed off of the opinions of others and then form their own opinion based on that rather than looking at the facts and then taking an educated stance on the matter.
As someone who has been on both sides of this debate (with health coverage and without health coverage and stuck in that middle of not making enough money to buy private insurance, but making too much to qualify for assistance), I understand full well the need for reform in the current system.
As a young mother my daughter, then only 5 months old, began to have seizures. We did not have health coverage at that time because my husband had just started a new job and we had not passed the designated period for coverage to start. Had it not been for the kindness and mercy of the doctors at Children's Hospital, I do not know what we would have done. Ashlynn's medical bills skyrocketed; her medicine alone was over $100 per month. As a family we survived that time, but only by grace. I know that there are thousands of people in the same situation. In addition to the countless seniors who have to choose medicine over food.
We live in America... things should not be this way.
I told my love yesterday that this great debate reminds me of a conversation that I had with an 80+ year old lady in the Ukraine in 2004. Her parents had been killed during the rule of the USSR. She witnessed with her eyes the tyranny of communist rule as well as the fall of the Berlin wall, and the new found freedom that it brought. She said that during the communist rule that she had no freedom, but she did have healthcare, rations for food, medicine, and provision. Now she has her freedom, but none of the other things. She asked which is the greater?
To me.. freedom is the greater, but only because I have a living, active relationship with Jesus.. my provider, my protector, my healer. In HIM I have all things.
Maybe people who are so up in arms over this health care bill should shift their focus. First stop your lips from speaking lies. Research this bill. What are the facts? Stop praying for what YOU think is best and start praying that these leaders see a vision of JESUS! That will change EVERYTHING. Look what one glimpse of Jesus did for Saul. I believe that nothing takes God by surprise and that there is a plan and purpose for everything in Heaven and on Earth.
None-the-less, my opinion does not matter. Let's look at the facts:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/Issues/health-Care
http://www.healthreform.gov
I encourage you to read these articles. These are the facts.. not opinions. Fuel your great debate (for or against) this bill on the truth.
As someone who has been on both sides of this debate (with health coverage and without health coverage and stuck in that middle of not making enough money to buy private insurance, but making too much to qualify for assistance), I understand full well the need for reform in the current system.
As a young mother my daughter, then only 5 months old, began to have seizures. We did not have health coverage at that time because my husband had just started a new job and we had not passed the designated period for coverage to start. Had it not been for the kindness and mercy of the doctors at Children's Hospital, I do not know what we would have done. Ashlynn's medical bills skyrocketed; her medicine alone was over $100 per month. As a family we survived that time, but only by grace. I know that there are thousands of people in the same situation. In addition to the countless seniors who have to choose medicine over food.
We live in America... things should not be this way.
I told my love yesterday that this great debate reminds me of a conversation that I had with an 80+ year old lady in the Ukraine in 2004. Her parents had been killed during the rule of the USSR. She witnessed with her eyes the tyranny of communist rule as well as the fall of the Berlin wall, and the new found freedom that it brought. She said that during the communist rule that she had no freedom, but she did have healthcare, rations for food, medicine, and provision. Now she has her freedom, but none of the other things. She asked which is the greater?
To me.. freedom is the greater, but only because I have a living, active relationship with Jesus.. my provider, my protector, my healer. In HIM I have all things.
Maybe people who are so up in arms over this health care bill should shift their focus. First stop your lips from speaking lies. Research this bill. What are the facts? Stop praying for what YOU think is best and start praying that these leaders see a vision of JESUS! That will change EVERYTHING. Look what one glimpse of Jesus did for Saul. I believe that nothing takes God by surprise and that there is a plan and purpose for everything in Heaven and on Earth.
None-the-less, my opinion does not matter. Let's look at the facts:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/Issues/health-Care
http://www.healthreform.gov
I encourage you to read these articles. These are the facts.. not opinions. Fuel your great debate (for or against) this bill on the truth.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Four Letter Word
It has been almost a year since my family and I attended a stateside church service. I have expressed to many of you my feelings about the church. I have met so many people who have been wounded by the judgment and lack of authenticity that exist in many churches today. It absolutely breaks my heart. The church was never intended to be this way. I believe that the church should be a living portrait of Jesus who exalted love above all else.
Today my family attended our first church service since arriving in Colorado Springs. The congregation is huge, the facilities are superb, the programs are on target, and there is limitless potential for our family to grow and mature in the word. It is all very exciting. But if all those "things" were stripped away, what would be left? If there were no programs, no grand facilities... what would draw the people into the service? I sincerely believe that it rest within that one four letter word.. L-O-V-E. We as a family felt loved today, and because of this and this alone we will return. We will jump in with all eight feet and serve with all our hearts.
Think about this with me for a moment. L-O-V-E... what does that word mean to you? Has it lost its power? Is it over-used, under-stated? What has it driven you to do? What has it stopped you from doing? What did it mean to Christ? How are we to be motivated by it?
I know that I have much to learn about this word.
This is my prayer today...
Lord Jesus, teach me what love is. Help me to sincerely love the way that you love, without judgement or pretense. I have made many plans for my life. I have written it down from A-Z, but all of it is in vain unless I learn to love. Let my plans, my hopes, my dreams be ruined by your love. I know that your will for me is far greater than anything I could ever dream or imagine... so let me rest in love.. hope in love.. serve in love.. be identified by love.
AMEN!
Today my family attended our first church service since arriving in Colorado Springs. The congregation is huge, the facilities are superb, the programs are on target, and there is limitless potential for our family to grow and mature in the word. It is all very exciting. But if all those "things" were stripped away, what would be left? If there were no programs, no grand facilities... what would draw the people into the service? I sincerely believe that it rest within that one four letter word.. L-O-V-E. We as a family felt loved today, and because of this and this alone we will return. We will jump in with all eight feet and serve with all our hearts.
Think about this with me for a moment. L-O-V-E... what does that word mean to you? Has it lost its power? Is it over-used, under-stated? What has it driven you to do? What has it stopped you from doing? What did it mean to Christ? How are we to be motivated by it?
I know that I have much to learn about this word.
This is my prayer today...
Lord Jesus, teach me what love is. Help me to sincerely love the way that you love, without judgement or pretense. I have made many plans for my life. I have written it down from A-Z, but all of it is in vain unless I learn to love. Let my plans, my hopes, my dreams be ruined by your love. I know that your will for me is far greater than anything I could ever dream or imagine... so let me rest in love.. hope in love.. serve in love.. be identified by love.
AMEN!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Full Speed Ahead
I suppose that you should never write about being in a lull. About an hour after that post, we got the phone call from our movers that kicked us into high gear. 6000 pounds of household goods will vaporize every single moment of down time.
For the last two days I have been unpacking boxes, sorting, and attempting to turn this house into a home. I am almost done. I have one more room of boxes to unpack. Then the cleaning and washing begins. Hopefully, I will have things looking and smelling lovely by the end of the day.
Photos to come soon...
For the last two days I have been unpacking boxes, sorting, and attempting to turn this house into a home. I am almost done. I have one more room of boxes to unpack. Then the cleaning and washing begins. Hopefully, I will have things looking and smelling lovely by the end of the day.
Photos to come soon...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Shifting Gears
I have tried a dozen times to learn how to drive a manual vehicle. After stripping the gears in several of said vehicles, no one is willing to try to teach me again. I am okay with that. Automatic cars were built for people just like me. Too bad life doesn't have an automatic version. Then we could avoid all the spits, sputters, and jerking-grinding that life can bring.
As you all know, for the last several months we have been in a constant state of transition. Well now the gears are shifting once again. When we left Germany last month we entered a lull, an odd vacation of sorts. We enjoyed our journey getting to Colorado. It was wonderful seeing more of our beautiful country and reconnecting with old friends. But now we are all having a bit of trouble shifting from that state of lull to real life.
We are in our new home. The kids started school this week and Wes and I are busy with all the little details of moving, registering for college, and job searching. Our household goods are making their way across the ocean and life is happening. But for some reason, I still feel like I am in limbo... like I am stripping the gears somehow.
Please, pray with me as I shift from neutral to drive. Who knows, I may even do some off-roading. After-all, I do have mountains to climb.
As you all know, for the last several months we have been in a constant state of transition. Well now the gears are shifting once again. When we left Germany last month we entered a lull, an odd vacation of sorts. We enjoyed our journey getting to Colorado. It was wonderful seeing more of our beautiful country and reconnecting with old friends. But now we are all having a bit of trouble shifting from that state of lull to real life.
We are in our new home. The kids started school this week and Wes and I are busy with all the little details of moving, registering for college, and job searching. Our household goods are making their way across the ocean and life is happening. But for some reason, I still feel like I am in limbo... like I am stripping the gears somehow.
Please, pray with me as I shift from neutral to drive. Who knows, I may even do some off-roading. After-all, I do have mountains to climb.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
What did the momma tomato say to the baby tomato?
Ketchup! (hehe)
Here goes my attempt to catch-up on the events of the last few weeks.
We said good-bye to Germany February 18th. Our flight from Germany to Chicago to Alabama went very smoothly. We were all exhausted and a little frizzy around the edges when we arrived in Bama, but we were all together and well. (Word of advice.. get the pasta NOT the chicken when flying AA)
Our short stay in Bama was very hectic to say the least. It was all business and not much visiting. However we did get a lot accomplished, including purchasing a new vehicle for our journey. We bought a black crew cab GMC Serria Z71 4 wheel drive with the best package... all leather, heated seats, Bose stereo. It is nice and we got a steal of a deal. This little country girl is very happy. I told my love that I want a tag that says, "Silly boys, trucks are for girls!" I am not sure that he agrees.
While in Bama, I did get to meet baby Trey. He has stolen my heart. He is so smart. I swear that he asks for me in sign. I miss him and my Ranna already.
We also celebrated the 85th birthday of Wesley's grandpa and discovered that our little red head is quite the stand-up comedian.
From Bama we headed to Louisiana. We avoided the interstate and enjoyed the sights of country roads and the flavors of "hole-in-the-wall" diners. We drove slow and enjoyed the journey. Wes even ate an alligator sandwich. Yuck!
When we arrived in LA, we were greeted by my dear friend Jody, She is one of the sisters of my soul. I love her so much. I first met Jody at Fort Gordon Georgia in 2006. She has been my sister ever since. I can't imagine my life without her in it. We all enjoyed our time in LA with her and her family. We flew kites, had nerf war fights, celebrated the birth of Nicky-Baucker. It could have only been better had Snop been able to share the time with us.
From LA we traveled to TX, again avoiding the interstate. Along the way we stopped at a little cafe called The Branding Iron. Oh my heaven, that was some amazing food. My mouth is watering just recalling it. We arrived in Killeen in time to enjoy MORE good food with our dear friends The Graves. We were also quickly smothered in doggy kisses from the two four-legged Graves'.
On day two in TX we drove to see my sister Misty and her sweet family. The twins have grown so much. They are absolutely beautiful and so hilarious. I am extremely proud of my sister and her husband Eric. They are wonderful parents. I am amazed at how the girls follow such a great routine. The kids played everyday until they nearly passed out. The big boys enjoyed some "game-time" while the girls did some shopping, of course! Killeen is not in short supply of great food and places to shop. Our time went by too quickly.
We left TX late at night and drove straight through to CO. We were in KS when the sun rose over the horizon. KS is as flat as a pancake, but it is beautiful.
Arriving in CO was like a dream. Words just can't describe the beauty that this state holds.
We moved into our new home last Sunday. When I walked through our front door for the first time, I literally just cried. It is far greater than anything that I could have imagined. Our neighborhood is thriving and we are so hopeful of what our future holds.
On the first day in our home we were greeted by one of the most precious women that I have ever met. Rebecca has shown my family such love and generosity. She is a beautiful portrait of Christ. I am truly humbled by her friendship.
I seriously have no idea why our hearts were lead to Colorado. It is all being revealed one small step at a time. None-the-less, I do know for certain that our family has together taken a giant leap of faith; no matter what the outcome of this journey we will all be stronger for having listened and followed.
I hope that you will take this journey with us in your heart and in your prayers. Come what may... it is going to be a grand adventure.
Here goes my attempt to catch-up on the events of the last few weeks.
We said good-bye to Germany February 18th. Our flight from Germany to Chicago to Alabama went very smoothly. We were all exhausted and a little frizzy around the edges when we arrived in Bama, but we were all together and well. (Word of advice.. get the pasta NOT the chicken when flying AA)
Our short stay in Bama was very hectic to say the least. It was all business and not much visiting. However we did get a lot accomplished, including purchasing a new vehicle for our journey. We bought a black crew cab GMC Serria Z71 4 wheel drive with the best package... all leather, heated seats, Bose stereo. It is nice and we got a steal of a deal. This little country girl is very happy. I told my love that I want a tag that says, "Silly boys, trucks are for girls!" I am not sure that he agrees.
While in Bama, I did get to meet baby Trey. He has stolen my heart. He is so smart. I swear that he asks for me in sign. I miss him and my Ranna already.
We also celebrated the 85th birthday of Wesley's grandpa and discovered that our little red head is quite the stand-up comedian.
From Bama we headed to Louisiana. We avoided the interstate and enjoyed the sights of country roads and the flavors of "hole-in-the-wall" diners. We drove slow and enjoyed the journey. Wes even ate an alligator sandwich. Yuck!
When we arrived in LA, we were greeted by my dear friend Jody, She is one of the sisters of my soul. I love her so much. I first met Jody at Fort Gordon Georgia in 2006. She has been my sister ever since. I can't imagine my life without her in it. We all enjoyed our time in LA with her and her family. We flew kites, had nerf war fights, celebrated the birth of Nicky-Baucker. It could have only been better had Snop been able to share the time with us.
From LA we traveled to TX, again avoiding the interstate. Along the way we stopped at a little cafe called The Branding Iron. Oh my heaven, that was some amazing food. My mouth is watering just recalling it. We arrived in Killeen in time to enjoy MORE good food with our dear friends The Graves. We were also quickly smothered in doggy kisses from the two four-legged Graves'.
On day two in TX we drove to see my sister Misty and her sweet family. The twins have grown so much. They are absolutely beautiful and so hilarious. I am extremely proud of my sister and her husband Eric. They are wonderful parents. I am amazed at how the girls follow such a great routine. The kids played everyday until they nearly passed out. The big boys enjoyed some "game-time" while the girls did some shopping, of course! Killeen is not in short supply of great food and places to shop. Our time went by too quickly.
We left TX late at night and drove straight through to CO. We were in KS when the sun rose over the horizon. KS is as flat as a pancake, but it is beautiful.
Arriving in CO was like a dream. Words just can't describe the beauty that this state holds.
We moved into our new home last Sunday. When I walked through our front door for the first time, I literally just cried. It is far greater than anything that I could have imagined. Our neighborhood is thriving and we are so hopeful of what our future holds.
On the first day in our home we were greeted by one of the most precious women that I have ever met. Rebecca has shown my family such love and generosity. She is a beautiful portrait of Christ. I am truly humbled by her friendship.
I seriously have no idea why our hearts were lead to Colorado. It is all being revealed one small step at a time. None-the-less, I do know for certain that our family has together taken a giant leap of faith; no matter what the outcome of this journey we will all be stronger for having listened and followed.
I hope that you will take this journey with us in your heart and in your prayers. Come what may... it is going to be a grand adventure.
It's Been A Minute
It has been a minute or two since my last post. It is going to take me days to follow-up on the lives of my fellow bloggers. Life seems to be flying by these days. Everyone I know is in a monumental moment in their lives. So many things to be thankful for and equally things to be in fervent prayer about. Two of my dear friends began a battle with cancer in the last month. I know that I serve a mighty God who is more than able to bring healing to these families. Seeing people that you love dearly enter into the fight of and for their lives is very sobering. It makes everything else just go dim, personal struggles seem smaller and victories seem bitter sweet.
Join me in prayer for The Queen Family & The Ibriahm Family.
Thank you.
Join me in prayer for The Queen Family & The Ibriahm Family.
Thank you.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Ink
I have talked about getting a tattoo on my foot for a while now. I have seen some tattoos that are very well done and I have seen some that are not so good. There doesn't seem to be a happy middle when it comes to tattoos. You either love them or hate them. My sister in law Valerie, wears tattoos well. She maintains her very stylish and feminine side while sporting some great ink.
I wanted a tattoo that was Uniquely me. I love my American Indian heritage. My great grandfather was 100% Cherokee Indian and I love looking at tribal designs. That language fascinates me. I also love The Word of God. It is food to my soul. I know that without the love and grace of Jesus I would be nothing at all.
If you read my blog, then you know that in my life I am at the starting line of an amazing shift, a journey, an adventure. I am excited and eager about what lay ahead for my family. With that, now seemed like the perfect time to either get the tattoo or just totally forget it.
There is a true artist who lives among us here in Mannheim. Joy is brilliant. I knew that I wanted her to create the art on my foot. After-all, it is permanent!
So here it is... My Art, My Ink!
Let me tell you about it.
It is a tribal eagle. It's body is made with the words "Isaiah 40:31". It says, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." This is one of my favorite verses in the bible but it also symbolizes the fact that we as one faith are the body of Christ.
It has seven wings. Throughout the scriptures, seven is known as the number for perfection/completion. The Word of God is prefect... without error... and we are made complete in Christ.
Inside the wings there are eleven blocks. Eleven is known for the number of judgment. It has a two fold meaning to me. I believe that one day we will all stand before God in judgment and I believe that it is God alone who can judge.. not ME! So I pray for those who do not trust Christ as Savior, but I dare not judge them. My job is to show them the LOVE of Christ without preaching or casting judgment on them.
The heart of the eagle is made of three circles symbolizing the Holy Trinity.
The head of the eagle is designed with the mouth open. Psalm 19:14 say, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."
The eagle has two eyes. Two is the number for unity. It also symbolizes that as Christians we should see people not only in the natural, but also in the spirit. We should see them and love them as Jesus would.
The eagle has three talons. The talon is the eagles weapon of offense and defense. We too have three weapons. They are The Word of God, The blood of The Lamb, and the word of our Testimony. Revelation 12:11 says, "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."
Finally the eagle is facing away from me. Symbolizing that I am to follow God's plan instead of trying to get him to follow mine. Also the words Isaiah 40:31 are written backwards and thus can only be read plainly when facing a mirror. The words are for me alone as a reminder to not grow weary in the waiting, to hope with great anticipation, to run without fear, to FLY!
I wanted a tattoo that was Uniquely me. I love my American Indian heritage. My great grandfather was 100% Cherokee Indian and I love looking at tribal designs. That language fascinates me. I also love The Word of God. It is food to my soul. I know that without the love and grace of Jesus I would be nothing at all.
If you read my blog, then you know that in my life I am at the starting line of an amazing shift, a journey, an adventure. I am excited and eager about what lay ahead for my family. With that, now seemed like the perfect time to either get the tattoo or just totally forget it.
There is a true artist who lives among us here in Mannheim. Joy is brilliant. I knew that I wanted her to create the art on my foot. After-all, it is permanent!
So here it is... My Art, My Ink!
Let me tell you about it.
It is a tribal eagle. It's body is made with the words "Isaiah 40:31". It says, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." This is one of my favorite verses in the bible but it also symbolizes the fact that we as one faith are the body of Christ.
It has seven wings. Throughout the scriptures, seven is known as the number for perfection/completion. The Word of God is prefect... without error... and we are made complete in Christ.
Inside the wings there are eleven blocks. Eleven is known for the number of judgment. It has a two fold meaning to me. I believe that one day we will all stand before God in judgment and I believe that it is God alone who can judge.. not ME! So I pray for those who do not trust Christ as Savior, but I dare not judge them. My job is to show them the LOVE of Christ without preaching or casting judgment on them.
The heart of the eagle is made of three circles symbolizing the Holy Trinity.
The head of the eagle is designed with the mouth open. Psalm 19:14 say, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."
The eagle has two eyes. Two is the number for unity. It also symbolizes that as Christians we should see people not only in the natural, but also in the spirit. We should see them and love them as Jesus would.
The eagle has three talons. The talon is the eagles weapon of offense and defense. We too have three weapons. They are The Word of God, The blood of The Lamb, and the word of our Testimony. Revelation 12:11 says, "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."
Finally the eagle is facing away from me. Symbolizing that I am to follow God's plan instead of trying to get him to follow mine. Also the words Isaiah 40:31 are written backwards and thus can only be read plainly when facing a mirror. The words are for me alone as a reminder to not grow weary in the waiting, to hope with great anticipation, to run without fear, to FLY!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Ready To Climb
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way.” ~ Dr. Seuss
I wanted to let you all know that Wesley's MEB is over. We fought it as far as we could. Wes got his release orders from the army today.
We officially start clearing from the Army on Monday.
Wes and I both have peace that God is in control. We have prayed, sat in silence, and waited.
I once heard christian author Beth Moore say, "When you speak to a mountain and it does not move, then just climb it... either way put it under your feet in Jesus name." In the natural and in the spirit that is exactly what we are going to do.
Once we arrive in Alabama, we will stay there for about two weeks visiting and catching up with everyone. Then we will head out to climb our Mountain.
We have decided to make Colorado Springs, Colorado our new home. There is great potential there for Wes and our family as a whole to grow and excel beyond our dreams. We do not know the details of what is to come.. we are just walking by faith.
Please keep us in your prayers for favor as we both seek jobs, housing, and schools in that area.
I wanted to let you all know that Wesley's MEB is over. We fought it as far as we could. Wes got his release orders from the army today.
We officially start clearing from the Army on Monday.
Wes and I both have peace that God is in control. We have prayed, sat in silence, and waited.
I once heard christian author Beth Moore say, "When you speak to a mountain and it does not move, then just climb it... either way put it under your feet in Jesus name." In the natural and in the spirit that is exactly what we are going to do.
Once we arrive in Alabama, we will stay there for about two weeks visiting and catching up with everyone. Then we will head out to climb our Mountain.
We have decided to make Colorado Springs, Colorado our new home. There is great potential there for Wes and our family as a whole to grow and excel beyond our dreams. We do not know the details of what is to come.. we are just walking by faith.
Please keep us in your prayers for favor as we both seek jobs, housing, and schools in that area.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Where to go?
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
BUT Where O Where do we go???
My love will be flying into Germany today.. Now the big adventure begins, starting with where do we go?
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
BUT Where O Where do we go???
My love will be flying into Germany today.. Now the big adventure begins, starting with where do we go?
It is well
It is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God's greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you have been through! AMEN.....
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Is now the time?
My love and I have a heart to adopt one or more special needs children. We have prayed about it for over three years. Is now the time?
Read my blog.. you will know that at the current moment, our life is full of uncertainness. But as we have said a million times over.. we are willing. Willing to go, to follow, to obey.
Last night my love had a dream that he was sent to Haiti. He believes that now is the time to begin the process of seeking a child to adopt. Could it be?
I have searched every website that I know about adoption. At the present moment Haiti is in complete chaos. Who knows when the government will be in order to proceed with adoption. But I believe that nothing happens by chance. I believe that God speaks to us in the small still voice.
So we pray... we seek.. we pray.
Stay tuned.. I do believe we are about to begin the journey of our lives.
GLORY!!!!
Read my blog.. you will know that at the current moment, our life is full of uncertainness. But as we have said a million times over.. we are willing. Willing to go, to follow, to obey.
Last night my love had a dream that he was sent to Haiti. He believes that now is the time to begin the process of seeking a child to adopt. Could it be?
I have searched every website that I know about adoption. At the present moment Haiti is in complete chaos. Who knows when the government will be in order to proceed with adoption. But I believe that nothing happens by chance. I believe that God speaks to us in the small still voice.
So we pray... we seek.. we pray.
Stay tuned.. I do believe we are about to begin the journey of our lives.
GLORY!!!!
Today is THE DAY.
My love made it safely to Maryland on Monday. He was excited to see his cousin there waiting on him at the airport. How amazing is that!!! His cousin Rosa (precious & brilliant) works at the pentagon and travels everywhere. We have not seen her in about 5 years. It was a pleasant surprise to find out that she would be in Maryland during Wesley's stay there.
Today is THE day.. the day that we get the FINAL word about what is to be of this present life that we are living in the US ARMY. There are too many scenarios to list and my heart can not go there right now. I do not know what the next 12 hours will reveal, but I do know THE ONE who does. So I am going to carry on as business usual today. No praying, No fasting, No wailing, No crying on the floor... Just simply knowing-trusting that IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.
Today is THE day.. the day that we get the FINAL word about what is to be of this present life that we are living in the US ARMY. There are too many scenarios to list and my heart can not go there right now. I do not know what the next 12 hours will reveal, but I do know THE ONE who does. So I am going to carry on as business usual today. No praying, No fasting, No wailing, No crying on the floor... Just simply knowing-trusting that IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Just Wait
Today was a beautiful day for many reasons. One the ground is still covered in a beautiful blanket of snow, and two I spent the majority of the day talking, sharing, and enjoying the presence of dear friends. It is not surprising that time slipped away from us. When we thought to check the time it was already five minutes past time for my son to be released from school.
In our small German community most everyone walks to and from school. This is our daily routine as well. Every afternoon, I wait on my son to come bouncing out of the school by the same white fence as all the other moms.
Today, I was not there.
When I arrived at the school, everyone was gone. My little guy was no where in sight. I walked calmly into the school expecting to see him. He was not there. I asked the front office if he had come back inside, they had not seen him. As I was walking back outside to the school yard, I spotted my son coming around the corner of the white fence. He seemed ok, but when he spotted me he ran to me. He pressed his face into my jacket and began to cry. He was frightened because without warning I had broken our routine. Instead of waiting in our spot, he ventured on his own. He soon became scared then he turned back and headed to the place where we meet daily. When he saw me, the emotions overwhelmed him. I just wanted to scoop him up and hold him for a while and believe me I would have, but the kiddo is almost a big as me.
The whole ordeal has made me ponder.
How often do we do the same thing?
As a daughter of Christ, I know just where to find Him. When I need to be in His presence, I know exactly where to go. But many times.. I run into a trial or circumstance without warning and I do not see Him. Instead of waiting on Him in the place where I know that He will be, I venture out on my own. I think that I know the right path to follow and just like my little man, I soon become fearful and have to run back to the place that I should have just stayed and waited all along.
Psalm 27:14 (New American Standard Bible)
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Waiting is never easy, but it can be joyful. We must take courage and know that our abba father will not leave us forsaken.
Isaiah 49:16
I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls are always in my presence.
Even if we can not see him. He is there. He is by that white fence. Trust Him. Even if you have walked your own path for a very long time. He is only one breath away. Call upon his name.. The Name of Jesus. He will come running to you, just stand still and WAIT!
In our small German community most everyone walks to and from school. This is our daily routine as well. Every afternoon, I wait on my son to come bouncing out of the school by the same white fence as all the other moms.
Today, I was not there.
When I arrived at the school, everyone was gone. My little guy was no where in sight. I walked calmly into the school expecting to see him. He was not there. I asked the front office if he had come back inside, they had not seen him. As I was walking back outside to the school yard, I spotted my son coming around the corner of the white fence. He seemed ok, but when he spotted me he ran to me. He pressed his face into my jacket and began to cry. He was frightened because without warning I had broken our routine. Instead of waiting in our spot, he ventured on his own. He soon became scared then he turned back and headed to the place where we meet daily. When he saw me, the emotions overwhelmed him. I just wanted to scoop him up and hold him for a while and believe me I would have, but the kiddo is almost a big as me.
The whole ordeal has made me ponder.
How often do we do the same thing?
As a daughter of Christ, I know just where to find Him. When I need to be in His presence, I know exactly where to go. But many times.. I run into a trial or circumstance without warning and I do not see Him. Instead of waiting on Him in the place where I know that He will be, I venture out on my own. I think that I know the right path to follow and just like my little man, I soon become fearful and have to run back to the place that I should have just stayed and waited all along.
Psalm 27:14 (New American Standard Bible)
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Waiting is never easy, but it can be joyful. We must take courage and know that our abba father will not leave us forsaken.
Isaiah 49:16
I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls are always in my presence.
Even if we can not see him. He is there. He is by that white fence. Trust Him. Even if you have walked your own path for a very long time. He is only one breath away. Call upon his name.. The Name of Jesus. He will come running to you, just stand still and WAIT!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Fear or Love
In the last few months I have endured some harsh criticism. Certainly some was probably in order, for we each grow not only by wisdom but also by the refining.. the sharpening from friends. However, there is a big difference between loving correction and judgment. Judgement is ugly. It is dividing. It usually brings death. There is no love expressed in judgment.
So what do we do when we are faced with this?
I have found myself becoming so angry, nearly revengeful. It is easy to justify oneself in the midst of an attack (deserved or undeserved). But that does not make it ok.
I received an email from a dear friend today. This is the verse of encouragement that she shared with me:
I John 4: 17-19 tells us this, “In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like HIM. There is NO FEAR IN LOVE, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”
In chewing on these words, I realized that my emotions are being fueled by fear. Fear of disappointing others, fear of rejection, fear of failure. The truth is that fear and love can not occupy the same space. We must.. I must choose one or the other. I would like to profess that from this moment forward that I will always choose love. The truth is that is easier spoken than actually lived. So what I will speak is that TODAY.. I don't know about tomorrow.. but TODAY I will choose LOVE. To love those who love me and those who spitefully accuse me because in doing so fear will have to flee.
So what do we do when we are faced with this?
I have found myself becoming so angry, nearly revengeful. It is easy to justify oneself in the midst of an attack (deserved or undeserved). But that does not make it ok.
I received an email from a dear friend today. This is the verse of encouragement that she shared with me:
I John 4: 17-19 tells us this, “In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like HIM. There is NO FEAR IN LOVE, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”
In chewing on these words, I realized that my emotions are being fueled by fear. Fear of disappointing others, fear of rejection, fear of failure. The truth is that fear and love can not occupy the same space. We must.. I must choose one or the other. I would like to profess that from this moment forward that I will always choose love. The truth is that is easier spoken than actually lived. So what I will speak is that TODAY.. I don't know about tomorrow.. but TODAY I will choose LOVE. To love those who love me and those who spitefully accuse me because in doing so fear will have to flee.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Set to Music
No one should ever compare one trail to another. For each trial, each tragedy is unique of its own. The pain, the struggle, the healing come in different measures. But isn't this exactly what we do? I have met countless people who wallow in misery. I too have found myself on the 'poor is me' floor. I am realizing that misery is a choice. Yes, tragedy strikes and it is awful. But how we react is all on us.
I have been hit by some harsh critics in the past few months. For a sugar coated southern girl, this is hard to deal with. But I am learning how to heal, how to let go, how to stand firm in the face of adversity, and most of all how to get over the addiction of approval and the need to please everybody.
The truth is, I have ONE that I must answer to. Let me set my sights on HIM. Let me treasure HIS word in my heart. Let me be rejuvenated.. Let me SING!
Psalm 119:49-56 (The Message)
Remember what you said to me, your servant—
I hang on to these words for dear life!
These words hold me up in bad times;
yes, your promises rejuvenate me.
The insolent ridicule me without mercy,
but I don't budge from your revelation.
I watch for your ancient landmark words,
and know I'm on the right track.
But when I see the wicked ignore your directions,
I'm beside myself with anger.
I set your instructions to music
and sing them as I walk this pilgrim way.
I meditate on your name all night, God,
treasuring your revelation, O God.
Still, I walk through a rain of derision
because I live by your Word and counsel.
I have been hit by some harsh critics in the past few months. For a sugar coated southern girl, this is hard to deal with. But I am learning how to heal, how to let go, how to stand firm in the face of adversity, and most of all how to get over the addiction of approval and the need to please everybody.
The truth is, I have ONE that I must answer to. Let me set my sights on HIM. Let me treasure HIS word in my heart. Let me be rejuvenated.. Let me SING!
Psalm 119:49-56 (The Message)
Remember what you said to me, your servant—
I hang on to these words for dear life!
These words hold me up in bad times;
yes, your promises rejuvenate me.
The insolent ridicule me without mercy,
but I don't budge from your revelation.
I watch for your ancient landmark words,
and know I'm on the right track.
But when I see the wicked ignore your directions,
I'm beside myself with anger.
I set your instructions to music
and sing them as I walk this pilgrim way.
I meditate on your name all night, God,
treasuring your revelation, O God.
Still, I walk through a rain of derision
because I live by your Word and counsel.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The More I See, The Less I Know
I am sure at some point in my life I believed that I had everything figured out... Every t crossed, every i dotted. But truly the more I see in life the less I know.
Living one day at a time is very difficult for me. I like to live by check list. I know list.. I do them well.
Aside from the common catch phrases.. how does one live day to day and still move forward?
There are many undone things on my 'wish list'. I seem to be a great starter, not so good at finishing. This little characteristic has cost me dearly. Including friendships. So if change starts by admitting that there is a problem... there... I confess!
Lord, help me today to keep the promises that I make. To do each day the things big and small to move forward and to accomplish my goals.
In the words of Mary Englebriet... LIFE IS JUST A CHAIR OF BOWLIES! I think my bowl is cracked!
Living one day at a time is very difficult for me. I like to live by check list. I know list.. I do them well.
Aside from the common catch phrases.. how does one live day to day and still move forward?
There are many undone things on my 'wish list'. I seem to be a great starter, not so good at finishing. This little characteristic has cost me dearly. Including friendships. So if change starts by admitting that there is a problem... there... I confess!
Lord, help me today to keep the promises that I make. To do each day the things big and small to move forward and to accomplish my goals.
In the words of Mary Englebriet... LIFE IS JUST A CHAIR OF BOWLIES! I think my bowl is cracked!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Well, That explains it!
I went to the doctor. He x-rayed my head.
He stared for a moment and here's what he said.
"It looks like you've got a banana in there,
an apple, an orange, a peach, and a pear.
I also see something that looks like a shoe,
a plate of spaghetti, some fake doggy doo,
an airplane, an arrow, a barrel, a chair,
a salmon, a camera, some old underwear,
a penny, a pickle, a pencil, a pen,
a hairy canary, a hammer, a hen,
a whistle, a thistle, a missile, a duck,
an icicle, bicycle, tricycle, truck.
With all of the junk that you have in your head
it's kind of amazing you got out of bed.
The good news, at least, is you shouldn't feel pain.
From what I can see here you don't have a brain."
--Kenn Nesbitt
This is where this year begins.. really begins.
I've had the amazing privilege of homeschooling my kids for the past 12 weeks. Though it has been difficult at times, the joy far outweighed the hardship. I knew that homeschooling was not a permeant journey, as we intended to transition the kids back into public school once we were back stateside. We thought that we were down for the count with the army, but through prayer and preserving we are beginning to see the light at the end of this journey. We have a renewed hope that we will be able to continue in this army life. Wes will be in MD by the end of the month being evaluated by Walter Reed Army Medical Center. We are believing that they will find Wes fit for duty and that this MEB process will stop. So it is with a step of faith that we are placing the children back into the school system. This is what both of our babies want. It does sadden me and in a thousand ways I feel like a failure. It is evident that I have a million things flooding my mind, but according to Nesbitt the good news is I should not feel any pain~ I never had a brain.
He stared for a moment and here's what he said.
"It looks like you've got a banana in there,
an apple, an orange, a peach, and a pear.
I also see something that looks like a shoe,
a plate of spaghetti, some fake doggy doo,
an airplane, an arrow, a barrel, a chair,
a salmon, a camera, some old underwear,
a penny, a pickle, a pencil, a pen,
a hairy canary, a hammer, a hen,
a whistle, a thistle, a missile, a duck,
an icicle, bicycle, tricycle, truck.
With all of the junk that you have in your head
it's kind of amazing you got out of bed.
The good news, at least, is you shouldn't feel pain.
From what I can see here you don't have a brain."
--Kenn Nesbitt
This is where this year begins.. really begins.
I've had the amazing privilege of homeschooling my kids for the past 12 weeks. Though it has been difficult at times, the joy far outweighed the hardship. I knew that homeschooling was not a permeant journey, as we intended to transition the kids back into public school once we were back stateside. We thought that we were down for the count with the army, but through prayer and preserving we are beginning to see the light at the end of this journey. We have a renewed hope that we will be able to continue in this army life. Wes will be in MD by the end of the month being evaluated by Walter Reed Army Medical Center. We are believing that they will find Wes fit for duty and that this MEB process will stop. So it is with a step of faith that we are placing the children back into the school system. This is what both of our babies want. It does sadden me and in a thousand ways I feel like a failure. It is evident that I have a million things flooding my mind, but according to Nesbitt the good news is I should not feel any pain~ I never had a brain.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Simple Abundance
Nearly three years ago my friend Carson Allen gave me a devotional book. Simple Abundance written by Sarah Ban Breathnanch. I have read it everyday for a little over a week now. It is filled with so much inspiration. I can't believe it has laid tucked away in my books for so long. Yet the writings in it are so timely for the place of my life where I currently am.
Discovering my authentic-self. Not the woman people expect me to be.. but the woman that I was created to be. The woman who faces her fears, lives with passion, loves without pretense, stands up for the weak, and does not sit at the back of the bus.
That is me.
This book is filled with a million quotable lines. One that my soul is mediating on right now is from 31 December,
".. the authentic self is the soul made visible."
Discovering my authentic-self. Not the woman people expect me to be.. but the woman that I was created to be. The woman who faces her fears, lives with passion, loves without pretense, stands up for the weak, and does not sit at the back of the bus.
That is me.
This book is filled with a million quotable lines. One that my soul is mediating on right now is from 31 December,
".. the authentic self is the soul made visible."
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Practice Makes Perfect
"In theory, that sounds so easy. A pat spiritual answer -- just focus on God's truth, found in His word, and our fears will just melt away. So why do I worry and fret? Why is it so hard to trust God during times of uncertainty? Personal experience has shown me a few uncomfortable realities about myself. I have a short memory for truth when the trials of life pile in on me. I suspect you are the same way. So what, then, is the answer? What will help us remember and apply truth to life when we need it? What will help us conquer our fears?
Practice." ~Ruth Graham
People say that practice makes perfect. If this holds true then I am not so sure that I want the "perfect" status to apply to every area of my life. There are many things that I walked through in 2009 that I do not want to "practice" again.
My prayer is that I have the ability to remember those lessons learned and press on in hope that today will be better. One day at a time is exactly how I want this year to come.
Practice." ~Ruth Graham
People say that practice makes perfect. If this holds true then I am not so sure that I want the "perfect" status to apply to every area of my life. There are many things that I walked through in 2009 that I do not want to "practice" again.
My prayer is that I have the ability to remember those lessons learned and press on in hope that today will be better. One day at a time is exactly how I want this year to come.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Friends and Family!
What a ride 2009 was. The twist and turns still leave me dizzy. I learned so much about myself.. good, bad, and ugly. Looking back on it all, I am thankful for the knowledge that I gained even though it was painful. However I am more than ready to leave 2009 in the past.
Time to press on.
I am hopeful for what 2010 holds for myself and my family.
Maybe just maybe.. I will be able to record it a little better.
What a ride 2009 was. The twist and turns still leave me dizzy. I learned so much about myself.. good, bad, and ugly. Looking back on it all, I am thankful for the knowledge that I gained even though it was painful. However I am more than ready to leave 2009 in the past.
Time to press on.
I am hopeful for what 2010 holds for myself and my family.
Maybe just maybe.. I will be able to record it a little better.
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