Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Invisible
Have you ever felt purely invisible? It is not an easy feeling. While I often pride myself on being strong and getting things done, sometimes I just need to break and fall apart a little. That is where I am. Almost 60 days into this deployment I am reaching my breaking point. I have tried desperately to find joy in this journey, but the truth is I am struggling. I feel like my heart is hardening and becoming cold and bitter. There are many situations and circumstances that I can blame/justify the emotions that are plaguing my heart, but those things are not the root of this. I am doing my best to surrender to the process, be honest with myself, and allow God to mold my heart into something beautiful. This is not easy; it is not fun.
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Hey there butterbean...I can only imagine how you must feel. I know you know that you truly aren't alone you have two amazing children, church friends and family, and above all our Heavenly Father while Wes is so far away, and even then Wes is with you. The two of you are as one, and you are such a strong couple and have made such a strong and beautiful family.
I am sorry that this is a hard time and you know what you wouldn't be human if you didn't break or feel like breaking down. the Lord is with you always and He is asking you to trust HIM through this...to really break down cry out for HIM...to let HIM take away your burdens and give you peace beyond all understanding.
You are never alone...there are too many people out there who love you...we may not be Wes, but we do care about you deeply.
I love you so sis, and if you ever need anything, just ask and I will do whatever I can to help!
Here is my verse right now...
Psalm 94:18-19(NIV) - When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Love, Hugs, and Prayers...
Lacey
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