Big Girl Panties

Thank you to all who have spoken encouraging and uplifting words to me during the past few weeks. My heart has been in a million places. From fear, to excitement, to anger, to regret, to hope. I have been full circle in my emotions. So thanks for sticking with me.

So here is the deal pickle. ;0)

We are staying right here where the army has sent us.

Yes, the comfortable place is in Sweet Home Alabama. Yes, maybe the children would be happier to live there than here. But is happiness the goal or is growing into the vessels that God intended us to be the goal? Growing is painful. It is not always easy. But it is WELL worth it. So, I will put on my big girl panties and walk through this valley because I know that even in the valley... there is a river of living water to sustain me.

In The Valley

Well, as you know I have been praying and seeking what to do during this time of deployment that awaits us. My heart has been utterly torn. I felt a few weeks ago that we had reached the decision that the children and I would move back to the states for the duration of the deployment. I felt relief in that decision. However, it will not be through the avenue that we first thought. I do not know what is to come. I really have to just let it go and give it to The Lord, but this is easier said than done. So the journey continues... The questions unanswered....

This morning I woke myself up singing this song.

Here are the lyrics.

If You Want Me To Lyrics
Artist(Band):Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone


So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I go through the valley If You want me to

Good Morning, Spring!

Ahh. Spring is finally officially here. Now I realize that the technical first day of spring is in March, but for me it does not begin until Easter.

I love Easter it is my favorite Holiday. It brings back so many wonderful memories for me. As a child I spent each Easter with my Nanny. She loved Easter so much. She was never "religious", but she clung to the name of Jesus with her every breath. (well, expect in parking lots, on the highway, or when someone didn't make her food right... then other names seemed to roll off her tongue a little easier) Any-who, she was a vibrant portrait of southern hospitality. She cooked huge Easter dinners for anyone who would come. Every inch of her home was covered in spring charm. She loved making and receiving Easter baskets. I can still see her face in the kitchen getting everything just perfect for all her little bunnies.

My basket always had a marshmallow egg and a new pinwheel. FUN!!!

O. I how I miss her! How I wish I could kiss her squashy cheeks and hold her gentle hands. Tears roll down my face just thinking of her. How blessed I am to share the name and heritage of such an amazing woman. I can't look at a bunny, an easter egg, or a brightly covered pinwheel without seeing her smile and her beauty shining through it.

On this Easter pull close the ones that you love. Hold them, cherish them. This world is fleeting. It is only a vapor. Today is a gift, unwrap its beauty. Allow your heart to dance through fields of buttercups and let your pinwheels turn in humble gratefulness of THE ONE who has given us new life.

Thank You, Jesus! Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for my family. Thank you for not leaving me orphaned. Thank you for my Nanny. Kiss her for me this morning.

Plucked

Well, I am attempting the impossible. I am letting my brows grow in hopes that I can repair the damage of being Plucked... (tweezed.. for you sophisticated readers) This is a nearly impossible task for me because I am OCD about hair. It is a sickness really. LOL. Anywho, be on the look out for the new, less plucked me. Please be knd and tell me if I start to look like burt and ernie.