RIP Bubba

Today I attended the funeral of the son of a sweet friend of mine. Her son Bubba was 20 years old and spent his entire life unable to speak and in a wheelchair. Yet even in that state of life, he brought such joy to everyone. At his funeral they played the song, "I Can Only Imagine". During the lyrics it dawned on me that his very first words spoken were not recored in a baby book written by his mother, but they were heard and spoken to the very face of God and written in His book, and his first steps were taken on the streets of gold. How awesome is that!

RIP for the Christian does not mean Rest In Peace... it means Rejoicing In Paradise.

Let us all be encouraged today.. Let us run our races to WIN in Jesus name. Amen!

For today we can all 'only imagine', but Bubba and the countless others who have gone before us KNOW full well.

Please, let me brush your hair!

I am learning that "life" doesn't always look like what we have visioned in our hearts and minds. Failures, mistakes, and disappointments often leave us searching, wondering where we went wrong. In every decision, every day I do my best to filter through my own desires and hear the voice of Christ and then be obedient to his leading. I know that I have missed the mark many times, but I am growing and willing to accept a life that will bring glory and honor to The One who gave me life, rather than pursuing my own ambition.

This video is purpose breathing. Take a moment to soak it in.

I love you today!

Blessings~

Joy Comes

Psalm 30:5 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

For His anger lasts only a moment,
but His favor, a lifetime.
Weeping may spend the night,
but there is joy in the morning. (A)

I am so thankful that my JOY has come once again. The grief of missing my love has weighed heavy on my heart, and in that mix of anxiety and sadness I felt joy slipping away from me. I couldn't remember the last time I actually laughed out loud or looked forward to the day with fresh eyes. I recognized the potential of this state of mind and made a choice to defy this circumstance and not be defined by it. I have been in a constant attitude of prayer and praise and decided to go back to the place of my salvation. It has been like new wine to my soul. I am so full of joy once again. My strength is renewed. I can credit it to nothing more than the pure love of Christ. He has come.. Amen!

Invisible

Have you ever felt purely invisible? It is not an easy feeling. While I often pride myself on being strong and getting things done, sometimes I just need to break and fall apart a little. That is where I am. Almost 60 days into this deployment I am reaching my breaking point. I have tried desperately to find joy in this journey, but the truth is I am struggling. I feel like my heart is hardening and becoming cold and bitter. There are many situations and circumstances that I can blame/justify the emotions that are plaguing my heart, but those things are not the root of this. I am doing my best to surrender to the process, be honest with myself, and allow God to mold my heart into something beautiful. This is not easy; it is not fun.

Twice Learned

To teach is to learn twice. ~Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

It has been a solid 17 days since my last post. Did someone hit the fast-forward button while I was sleeping? No, that can't be right... I don't think I have slept much in the last 17 days. None-the-less, there has been surmountable joy in my fast-forward life.

I am teaching full-time at HFUMC Pre-K. I have 10 little blessings in my class and I was told today that 3 more will be starting next week (see I only thought I was catching myself). I have to say that Mr. Joseph knew something about teaching. Over the last 3 weeks I have gotten to relearn how to shake my wiggles out, how to paint with bubbles, and how to make ice cream in a zip-lock bag. I smell like a mix of peanut butter and melting crayola crayons, but I am having a blast.

You all know how I love our military. Well God has blessed me with a little boy in my class who's daddy is a CPT in the ANG whom just deployed to Iraq. I believe that he is in my class for such a time as this. I pray that I can be a daily encouragement to his mother and a joy to him while he waits for daddy to come home.

I am starting college soon to finish my degree in early childhood education by way of an extraordinary blessing. My classes start later this fall and I know that things will become even busier. I am trying to not get overloaded and miss the stillness and quiet that my soul needs.

My own babies and I are rocking right along with this deployment of sorts. I miss my love so much that it literally hurts. I imagine his kisses and his hand holding mine as I pray earnestly for his protection. My son is missing his daddy a lot. I can see it in his eyes when I catch him lost in thought over his father. Everyday, I fight back the words.. JUST COME HOME, MY LOVE.

On the upside, Skype has been life saving. I can't imagine what our life would be like without it. I get to see my love's face and embrace him through my eyes everyday. He gets to kiss our children goodnight and even play games with our son.

I am just walking, well running mostly, the days out until this chapter is over and we can harvest the seeds that are being planted this year. God is good and He is faithful; May I forever be patient and obedient to his clear voice.